Stuck in an MRI

Recently I had the great privilege of getting an MRI. While some may think this is no big deal, they are often taller then they are wide. Unlike myself. Knowing this I called around to try to find a larger machine. It was a little awkward asking does your MRI work with fat guys like me. I instead awkwardly stated that I was a rather robust gentleman and then asked if their MRI would fit. To my dismay they all said yes.

Knowing what I had to do I started my mental preparations early thinking it will help me over come my fear of making headline news as the first fat man stuck in an MRI. Then when I looked into the little tiny hole that they insisted I should get shoved in I freaked out a little. To overcome that fear they suggested I use some drugs, in the form Valium. As a good Mormon boy my first thought was, " yeah I get to get stoned and it is legal". When the nurse came out to give me my precious prize she said, "we are going to give you a little more than the usual", boo ya. I looked at the two little pills she gave me and said I was hoping for more like a blow gun and to shot with tranquilizer normally used for a rhino. She smiled and handed me 15 mg of Valium. It had zero effect on me, what a rip off.

"Fat man in a little hole, fat man in a little hole", OK so unlike this guy in the picture I did fit, barely. I had to put my hands above my head while slowly slid me into the death coffin leaving hardly any room between me and the machine. This had one very undesirable result. Because of my massive size plugged the whole and limited the air flow through the tunnel. I was sweating more than Tom Dashle being grilled in front of the IRS.


Not only did I have to do this once but I ended up going to the MRI place three times in one week. After the second trip into the tunnel I had overcome my fear of being trapped stuck human sardine in a can.

Lesson learned, to overcome my fear I had to just do it.