It really is but not in the way you are thinking. Yeah there is that ever present threat from terrorist organizations, and yeah the economy is in the crapper, but I have found a hidden threat not many know about. Amish Friendship bread! Don’t laugh, have you tried some?
It all starts off very innocently enough. It’s a gift from a friend or loved ones; you wait the ten days or whatever it takes and then boom, your addicted. For me it happened last Friday. After a long and strenuous week I came home to two wonderful loafs freshly baked by my sweetie. One movie and a loaf and a half later I woke up out of my sugar coma wondering what just happened. I could actually feel myself gain 5-10 pounds in one evening.
At some point on Saturday when I broke out into what I like to call the Amish-sweats, I realized there was something more to the bread then what it appears at the first delicious sniff. It is now clear to me that the
y put an addictive chemical in that bread that makes me crave it both day night. After several days of being off this addictive, mind controlling, and pallet pleasing bread, I realized there is a far more seductive plan with this bread then just friendship. While they work hard each day from sun up to sun down, and we sit on our fannies eating this addictive, mind controlling, pallet pleasing bread growing larger by the minute. Then when our physics look more like the characters from the movie WALLEE, the Amish can simply walk in and take over. I know it sounds crazy, but trust me on this do not try the Amish friendship bread, give it to me.
This is why as a patriot I can no longer propagate this evil bread. This time when we have four loafs to make and eight to give away we will just make 8 loafs. I will take one for the team, or make that 8-9 loafs for the team. It is my duty as an American! I realize that this may lead to my hinny getting larger but someone must stop the cycle before it is too late, before we are all fat and lazy, subdued by the power of freindship..Arhh... just one more bite before bed...HMM!...Yummy.
It all starts off very innocently enough. It’s a gift from a friend or loved ones; you wait the ten days or whatever it takes and then boom, your addicted. For me it happened last Friday. After a long and strenuous week I came home to two wonderful loafs freshly baked by my sweetie. One movie and a loaf and a half later I woke up out of my sugar coma wondering what just happened. I could actually feel myself gain 5-10 pounds in one evening.
At some point on Saturday when I broke out into what I like to call the Amish-sweats, I realized there was something more to the bread then what it appears at the first delicious sniff. It is now clear to me that the
y put an addictive chemical in that bread that makes me crave it both day night. After several days of being off this addictive, mind controlling, and pallet pleasing bread, I realized there is a far more seductive plan with this bread then just friendship. While they work hard each day from sun up to sun down, and we sit on our fannies eating this addictive, mind controlling, pallet pleasing bread growing larger by the minute. Then when our physics look more like the characters from the movie WALLEE, the Amish can simply walk in and take over. I know it sounds crazy, but trust me on this do not try the Amish friendship bread, give it to me.This is why as a patriot I can no longer propagate this evil bread. This time when we have four loafs to make and eight to give away we will just make 8 loafs. I will take one for the team, or make that 8-9 loafs for the team. It is my duty as an American! I realize that this may lead to my hinny getting larger but someone must stop the cycle before it is too late, before we are all fat and lazy, subdued by the power of freindship..Arhh... just one more bite before bed...HMM!...Yummy.
That is hilarious! I was laughing so hard nd Parker was wondering what I was laughing about, but it's not something a 5 year old can really appreciate.
ReplyDeleteWhat does "Friend" have to do with this? I'm with you - sounds like an evil plan to me. Please send recipe and I will test my willpower. Love you! Grandma
ReplyDeleteI love it! That is funny stuff, and that bread is soooo darn good!
ReplyDelete